People often look at younger generations and think ‘Wow don’t you have it easy!’, I mean to the untrained eye they are correct but I’ll let you in on a little secret… all this technology around us has made it difficult to be human let alone to act like a teenager. My 6 weeks holiday ended last week and on reflection I realised I spent all of those 6 weeks sat at the same desk, looking at the same screen, distracting myself… but distracting myself from what a small voice in my head asks me. Distracting myself from living. Then on further reflection I realise that is all I have done for the past 5 years of my life, distract myself from what I really want to do.
Instead of doing the things I want to do, like take up learning guitar, go on walks or get a job I distract myself with browsing Tumblr, watching YouTube and immersing myself in other peoples lives instead of living my own.
I can’t wait for the day I look back on my life and say, ‘Look at all the time wasted’.
It’s the same with playing video games, I used to play games as much as possible and was proud to call myself a gamer but nowadays I’m not proud, I am just sad. Sad that I have wasted so much time in virtual worlds instead of living in the one I am actually given. Sad that I wonder what people do instead of playing video games. And most of all I feel sad that I once deemed playing hundreds of hours in a game an achievement.
So what am I going to do to change this?
I used to put my age as my reason for not doing the things I want, but it has dawned on me that that is no longer the case and that whatever my age I can do whatever I want to do. So to start making a change I guess I’m going to have to start limiting myself on how much time I spend on the computer, start reading more, leave the house more and work on my crippling anxiety. I want to be able to do the things in life that I really want to do and not just mask them with things I have tricked myself into thinking I want.
The real reason for this post? The fact that when I think of what I could be doing instead of browsing the internet nothing else comes to mind… and that makes me very sad indeed.
Thank you for reading,
I’ll see you in the next post, take care 🙂